A friend of mine, Randi, keeps a truly hilarious blog. This week she wrote a letter to her 15 pounds (http://keepingupwiththekartchners.blogspot.com/2009/08/dear.html). As someone who recently welcomed back my own 15 pounds I can relate to such a letter. This morning the thought hit me, “How would my 15 pounds reply to such a letter?” Well here it is.
Yo Aaron! What’s up?
Don’t know why you had to write a letter, I’m right here. But if that’s how you want to do this then fine. I know we’ve had an on again off again relationship (mostly on again) but it ain’t all been bad. Remember all the fun we have when I do come back? The bacon double cheeseburgers, those trips to Cold Stone, or that Chinese buffet that we love. Remember that? We’ve had some good times man. You know that game we play where we sneak a cookie (or three) late at night and then try to be cute when your wife catches us with a reply like “No I’m not.” Classic. Good times...
We both know you hate to exercise. Is there any exercise when I’m around? No, you’re welcome. And don’t pretend you didn’t enjoy those nights on end in front of the TV finishing off the kids left over Halloween candy either.
Come on man be reasonable, as hard as you try to push me away we both know you miss this rotund ball of fun when I’m gone. Why else do you keep bringing me back?
Sure, I’ll go, if you really really want me gone. You know where to find me when you get tired of eating apples and celery sticks; when you’re tired of "working out" and counting calories. I’ll be around.
YOUR 15 lbs.
P.S. I’ll be waiting at the BBQ Company if you need me. Remember 1st and 3rd Wednesdays are all you can eat!